Drifting in and out of grief attacks
Alas she is beyond wretched to crave to touch or be touched
Her fanciful considerations of love and marriage evaporating leaving residue of melancholy
What she had desired for her present evidently an oversized folly
Alarmed at the idea that she would no longer be romantically and sexually responsive the way she had aspired to be, she lamented pensively
The case may well be that she has surpassed the number of lovers a woman was created to have,
Possibly this is her fate, to love not and not to be loved
At least not the way she way she had countlessly envisioned
Not after flying through so many hands as though that was her life’s mission
Crestfallen she won’t be as warm and wholehearted as she was once before
Pessimism settling in her bones emanating cynicism from her core
She stumbled into a corner and shamefully licked on her sores
Never again, Never, she repeated swore
"Beware of making another person a part of your Self.
Love, give, interact—but never absorb.
Keep your Self intact.
Do not add to yourself by taking from another person. Nor subtract from yourself to give to another person.
………..you existed as a whole before the object and will exist as a whole after the object.”
I L_ _E U
You can’t imagine the many places it touched
Caterpillars started to hatch
I was so bemused, I couldn’t decide if it was my heart or mind or breath to catch
I’m swamped with so many sensations, which to configure and match
I lost my scrambled thoughts when you asked what if you meant it
Felt like a confession coming on, found my thoughts but not my tongue, panic was settling
Is it weird if I say it wasn’t something I was expecting
Been to busy trying to sort out if I want to be grounded or fly.
I always imagined that those words would come only if we got married
Am I freaking you out with my reaction,
I’m only panicking cause I am not yet ready
So I have convinced myself you were just messing with me and you were testing the pool before you dive in
The crush site aint pretty
I see pieces of someone
I warned you didn’t I?
I told you you that my loving engine was faulty and that you were to drunk inlove to drive
But you persisted till my tired parts were fueled up and then sped just like I knew you would
You swerved on the curves and drove to close to the edge, I was too scared to loose
I was too loose, my screws had been over used so i was too worn out to break
I have been too damn easy. Let me enjoy being mean.
I’m so primitive
I’m still amazed by fire
How do you do it?
Show me how you set me on fire