September202014

Anyone who knows me can conclude that I am terrified stupid of silence
But that is what I AM right now
AN ECHO OF SILENCE
My head is so quiet that I don’t feel or talk as vibrant
A spirit so broken, speaking seems too violent

I am scared of silence
Yet I can’t speak because my thoughts are being held back by the ghost of a siren

12PM
“Adversity is like a strong wind. I don’t mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.”

Arthur Golden

author of Memoirs of a Geisha 

(via cedarful)

(via astrangersmind)

12PM

saveitjustforme:

king-najma:

cosbyykidd:

universecity88:

Black male doctors nothing more dangerous than educated black men

Shout out to the D9

the dude in front is most definitely a obgyn lol

Mmmmm yez yez

12PM
sociologist-gh:

Lol

Woah Marry me

sociologist-gh:

Lol

Woah
Marry me

(Source: arabmemes)

12PM
“Most difficult part of marriage… Life.

Life is hard and let’s face it, none of us walk into a relationship without issues and life throws curve balls all the time, which expose your flaws and weaknesses. So marriage is hard work, because it’s incredibly easy to become complacent in your relationship, because it’s so familiar and in the process forgetting that as life is changing you, it’s also changing the other person and to keep up with that progress. To remain in touch with your spouse’s needs and at the same time being honest about your own growth and needs… It’s the constant stopping and checking up on your relationship, nurturing it, but allowing yourself to grow is hard. It’s hard because life isn’t romantic sunset walks on the beach, it’s international deployments, infertility, relocations, financial strain, illness, occupational stress, dysfunctional families and nowhere to be seen friends. Marriage is hard because you promised that you will never give up and sometimes giving up feels like it would be the easiest thing to do.” Catherine (via white—-orchid)

(Source: earthstranger, via thebeautyofislam)

12PM
12PM
September152014
It is the only reason I would choose new over over you 
Not because I don’t want you but because you cannot trust me 
The decision hurts all over again because I refuse to try again 
My reason is that in love we grow, and from where i broke you, that would be the limit of your love 
But mine is more likely to grow and that fear  that you will eventually break me like i broke you… 
There’s no trust 
And without trust our love is doomed 

I wished I could fix it… 
I psyched myself to fix it 
But the wound was too deep and when you healed I saw you developed immunity to me

HOW CAN I AFFECT YOU IF YOU ARE IMMUNE TO ME ???

It is the only reason I would choose new over over you
Not because I don’t want you but because you cannot trust me
The decision hurts all over again because I refuse to try again
My reason is that in love we grow, and from where i broke you, that would be the limit of your love
But mine is more likely to grow and that fear that you will eventually break me like i broke you…
There’s no trust
And without trust our love is doomed

I wished I could fix it…
I psyched myself to fix it
But the wound was too deep and when you healed I saw you developed immunity to me

HOW CAN I AFFECT YOU IF YOU ARE IMMUNE TO ME ???

7AM
UNLOVING YOU 

I read once that you spend your whole life unloving the the first person you ever loved 
Boxing the memories and labeling them with warning labels like ‘Do not open’ and ‘Danger’
But there’s always this master key that unlocks all the wrong set of actions
And then you are left thinking of that fateful kiss, that first touch, that heart racing moment when it all began 
When you curiously chased after intimacy with no shame 
And died happily each time you tasted it 
And each time you could never be satisfied, 
But you cried when this drug was unavailable even when you knew it only be your undoing 

Now I try to unmeet you, undream you, unthink of all the the places you kissed 
With those lips, and from those lips, I wish I could unhear your sweet words 
I try to unlove you with new persons but as I inhale a familiarity triggers how i breathed you 
Then it becomes difficult to exhale and my defenses go up  
And all logic flies out, and I leave whoever hanging by thread 
I go back on my word, unmean the promises that said 
I play dangerous games I shouldn’t play and I  unmake the plans that we laid 

Then he bleeds where I cut myself 
I’m scarred whiles his blood dries out 
And he moves on cause it was only blood but I never heal 
But then i repeat the whole processes of unloving you again

UNLOVING YOU

I read once that you spend your whole life unloving the the first person you ever loved
Boxing the memories and labeling them with warning labels like ‘Do not open’ and ‘Danger’
But there’s always this master key that unlocks all the wrong set of actions
And then you are left thinking of that fateful kiss, that first touch, that heart racing moment when it all began
When you curiously chased after intimacy with no shame
And died happily each time you tasted it
And each time you could never be satisfied,
But you cried when this drug was unavailable even when you knew it only be your undoing

Now I try to unmeet you, undream you, unthink of all the the places you kissed
With those lips, and from those lips, I wish I could unhear your sweet words
I try to unlove you with new persons but as I inhale a familiarity triggers how i breathed you
Then it becomes difficult to exhale and my defenses go up
And all logic flies out, and I leave whoever hanging by thread
I go back on my word, unmean the promises that said
I play dangerous games I shouldn’t play and I unmake the plans that we laid

Then he bleeds where I cut myself
I’m scarred whiles his blood dries out
And he moves on cause it was only blood but I never heal
But then i repeat the whole processes of unloving you again

August252014
MAPPING ME

All roads lead back to you 
Like there was no end to begin with 
Like it was written in the sands but I missed it 
Like the wind whispered it but i thought i wished it 
Like the stars signed that we will be together but I overlooked it 
Like the grass was greener just where i stood but i overthought it 
Like the world sold me fairytales and I bought it 
Only to find you in it and then sell it 
Then chase you down another road to tell you 

'That I will always be yours no matter how restless i get… That sometimes i forget where i belong and who I am happiest with 
You’

MAPPING ME

All roads lead back to you
Like there was no end to begin with
Like it was written in the sands but I missed it
Like the wind whispered it but i thought i wished it
Like the stars signed that we will be together but I overlooked it
Like the grass was greener just where i stood but i overthought it
Like the world sold me fairytales and I bought it
Only to find you in it and then sell it
Then chase you down another road to tell you

'That I will always be yours no matter how restless i get… That sometimes i forget where i belong and who I am happiest with
You’

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